Introductory Rant

I can't stand this anymore, I really can't. I have no idea as I am writing this essay where it's gonna go, but by God, it's gonna go somewhere to get the maximum exposure possible. I am a registered independent by both philosophy & political affiliation. The balance of this piece explains why I need to do this as well as why I'm an independent voter.

The first order of business is to congratulate the minority party (formerly know as the Republicans, the only time you'll see that political party title in this essay) on it's diligent efforts in not only becoming the minority party, but running the entire country into the ground while they were doing it. This may go down in political history as the greatest example of “multi-tasking” in the interest of mass ruination ever known in the history of this republic.

Let's start by outlining the tools they had to accomplish this notorious goal, shall we? First, they were given control of two branches of government for most of the last eight years and allowed to top-load the third remaining branch with their nominees during their tenure in previous administrations. That final step concerning the judicial branch of federal government, looped right back into taking control of the executive branch of our government for the last eight years, an impressive hat trick, to be sure. Next, plenty of donations from their well-heeled supporters. Most of these supporters are best described by the next paragraph concerning a television commercial that's been in heavy rotation lately.

The TV ad in question is the best “left-handed” commentary on what major “business & financial leadership” as we've come to know it in the last thirty years, has done to us all as Americans. In this commercial for a job-hunting site for upper-echelon executives, an amusing gaggle of tiny refugees from a Japanese monster-movie attempt to run amok, having no effect whatsoever on the people, buildings, or objects they attack. Then, as the voice-over reveals how the ad's sponsor can help 100K-a- year executives find a “Golden Parachute”-style 100K position that fits just so, a properly sized version of the pint-sized sci-fi monsters shows up; a behemoth towering over all it surveys, breathing fire that blows up the side of a building, sends full-sized cars shooting down the street, & an impressive amount of now relatively tiny humans (people who are not part of the commercial's intended demographic, no doubt) fleeing in terror.

One can't help but speculate that these defenseless little people took refuge in an unemployment line, since so much of the wreckage we call our economy can be place at the car-crushing, building destroying feet of the avatar for 100K job-holders in the advertisement's story-line.

Does that sound more than a little familiar when you look around our economic landscape these days? Not to mention how it happened, & who's responsible. Don't know about you, but I think so.

Since I've already planted us firmly in the pop-culture science-fiction landscape with the last paragraph, I'll now borrow one of the greatest adventure comic-strip narrative cliche's ever put on a printed page....

“Meanwhile...”

Part of the entertainment value that comes with a new administration, as well as a radically-altered congressional environment, is watching as the losing political party (yes, that's right, the aforementioned minority party... ) pulls itself from the wreckage of losing both the mid-term as well as the general election cycle. Particularly when, in their attempt to re-group after such a devastating loss, they so thoroughly demonstrate that they haven't learned a damn thing from the mistakes that led directly to their defeat. Let's review in chronological order what we've seen so far....

In a blitz of activity that started the morning after the inauguration, President Obama urges congressional leaders to floor-board passing an economic recovery package. Honest effort, on the new administration's part at least, to make this a bi-partisan effort befitting the gravity of the country's needs, are spurned by the minority party, who instead, decides to first stick their fingers in their ears, then shout “tax cuts...tax cuts....tax cuts...” apparently in lieu of the much more traditional “...la-la-la-la-la-la...”

Then we have the obligatory bitching about pork-barrel spending that is referred to as if this concept falls from the heavens like inclement weather that no one can do anything about, that the minority party, goodness knows, has no idea how it happens, let alone any responsibility for it occurring in the first place. Thus passing up a golden opportunity to reclaim any credibility as the party known for “watching the money”, by offering to help weed out all of that mysterious “pork-from-nowhere” since they observed so much of it fall during their tenure over the last seven or so years in Congress.

Last, but certainly not least, traditional losing-party whining about being shut-out of the decision-making process concerning the recovery bill. This trails off in a chorus of “...harrumph... harrumph...harrumph...” reminiscent of Mel Brooks' “Gov. LePetomaine” character conducting an entire Governor's office full of fat-cat political cronies “harrumphing” in Mr. Brooks' now-classic western burlesque comedy, “Blazing Saddles”.

Sorry, minority party, but you no longer have any credentials left to allow you the right to “harrumph,” since the country was once within a hair's breadth of not having a deficit at all...until you people took over eight years ago.

Next...apparently feeling guilty over the “Barrack The Magic Negro” song on a CD distributed by a contender for leadership of the RNC, the organization that dictates minority party policy, retaliates by electing a “Magic Negro” all their own to lead them to better approval numbers in the future. Before you all commit me to “Hate Mail Hell,” just remember, I didn't endorse that dubious concept, they did.

Mitt Romney appears at a minority party retreat this past week. Mr. Romney, who looks like the culmination of a genetic breeding program designed to produce the ultimate CEO intended for mass-media consumption, proceeds to demonstrate the remaining level of true leadership apparently available to the minority party, by not discussing his party's participation in running the entire country into the ground, let alone the decisions the led to re-naming his political affiliation the minority party.

Instead, Mr. Romney proceeds to boldly mount the speaking podium, where he then firmly & decisively grabs the threadbare pull-cord to start the beat-to-crap two-stroke engine of one of his party's most beloved wedge-issues, abortion. It's all they have left now. Well, that & gay marriage. Then he congratulated his party's congressional office holders for doing exactly what Rush Limbaugh told them to do with their votes in the House of Representatives concerning the first-round vote on a stimulus package.

This leads to one, last, great adventure cliché...the turn-of-the-last-century mystery, appropriately enough. Particularly the scene where a hapless victim is urged to employ a “consulting detective” in a deer-stalker cap since said victim has no clue...

Please dispose of your popcorn boxes, soda cups, & minority party campaign buttons in the proper refuse container as you exit the movie theater.

Thank You, and please visit the “Pissed-Off Rialto Theater” again real soon.